I don't really know what I'm reading, but my blood work came back today. Just in time for tomorrow's appointment. And although I don't know what I'm reading, everything is in the normal range.
I'm normal!!!
Other than Iron, I think everything looks ok, right???? Well, tomorrow I find out for sure by the professionals!
Sadly, I have to get on the scale. I know I'm gonna be bummed with my number. At home, I'm 202. 4 lbs higher than my lightest reporting. I really wanted to be 100 down by this appointment. Their scale is always 5 lbs higher than mine. So I assume I'll weigh in around 208.
Just got myself a Fitbit. Also got myself a puppy sling so I can carry the mutt around. Hoping I get some motivation to be outside. Start walking. Doing activities. I just know I'm at a standstill.
7 months post op and the euphoria has gone. I'm not in the happy bubble anymore. I enjoy getting dressed in new clothes. I still look at my body for any new changes. But that crazy, giddy girl that I was falling in love with seems to have gone. I'm thinking its time to go to a group session for post op patients. Get some perspective. I'm ok that I'm not losing weight. I never did it for the number. I did it to live. But that "alive" feeling that I had several months post surgery isn't really here anymore. I'm not sure if it's a post op thing or simply a "I'm almost 40" thing. I kinda think it's more of the latter.
The advice I can give my "readers" about to go through this life change, stay busy. I think I had such distractions post op that got me through and kept me mentally feeling great. Now, I'm done working on my passion project. I'm in a job that isn't fulfilling me like it used to. And I'm dating men that are still terrible for me. On top of that, single, no kids, and about to lose my house. Hence, why I desperately want that euphoria back!
Unlike my other posts, this is kind of a downer. But believe me, I'm better off now than a year ago. There is only going up (or down on the scale) from here!
One thing that nearly 100 pound weight loss has done for me...I'm getting back on stage. For one night only, I'm gonna sing with a couple friends in a cabaret for a company that I own! Is this for real??? Been 5 years since I've been on stage and even then it was a fluke. I'm hoping that tomorrow's Doctor apportionment and Saturday cabaret give me the positive vibes that I need to get through until the big 4-0 in August.
If you're around, come be entertained by me. Either I'll sound good, or I'll screw up enough that it'll be hilarious! Entertainment indeed!
You are real. You are normal. You are so inspiring, and I don't think you know how much!
ReplyDeleteThere is such a big part of me that wants to take the chance on this surgery, yet the fear of it, what life will be like afterwards, will there be any complications, the what if's are killing me!