I've been battling depression for most of my life but I feel like I've come face to face with it and have it under control. Occasionally, even in medication, I run into some low patches. The last few weeks are no exception.
If my friends are reading this, I must apologize. Unless there is a schedule event that I'm required to attend, I've pretty much just hibernates at home. No real desire to leave the house much. Weekends, forget it. Home on Friday and don't leave until work on Monday. My house is a mess. My weight is teetering back and forth. It's not like o sit home and have pity parties, I just don't have a desire to do anything. Once I'm out and about, I enjoy myself. That "putting one foot in front of the other" concept isn't really working much for me.
I reach out for "help" in my own way. Unless depression is familiar to you, one doesn't pick up on the "asking for help" signs. This is my journey. It's not anyone's responsibility to understand it, or even begin to. However, a few nights ago, a new friend reached out to me. She and I barely know each other, but have mutual involvement at a theatre company. She had heard of my impending surgery and reached out to me. She, too, underwent the same gastric surgery last year. (She looks amazing btw!). She's been a godsend to me. They say to ensure you have a support group throughout your journey. I'm lucky to have my family and friends, but having my new friend has been extremely helpful. No sugar coating, just matter of fact pointers. She confirmed that the few weeks leading up to surgery had been rough for her also. Just hearing that from someone who went through it really awakened me. I may be "going through it" right now, but being able to understand that it's normal has been refreshing. Her words, "take a deep breath."
So for those really taking note of the process, my paperwork has been submitted to the insurance company. I now wait for their verdict to approve surgery.
