The envelope please.....

I received a call early Tuesday morning with the results of my sleep study, not even 24 hours after turning in the machine.  On my way into a sales meeting, one in which I was hosting and had to be on my A-game, I am told that I have severe sleep apnea.  I don't know why this hit me so hard, but it did.  I sent messages to all my closest friends. They knew I was scared. They knew I needed a little TLC. I shouldn't be surprised at something I have known for years, but I suppose I ignored the severity just like I ignored the weight gain.  Due to the extreme apnea, they were putting in an emergency order for a CPAP machine to be delivered to my home THAT DAY!

I've been hiding it for a few weeks, but the depression is certainly kicking in.  I am ready to have this surgery. I am not ready to kee hearing how unhealthy I have been and for so long.  I am resentful that my primary care physician NEVER suggested any referrals to other medical professionals.  Why was it me who walked in and said that I wanted gastric surgery? Why did my doctor never suggest it?  I am angry and resentful. 

After my world came crashing down a few years ago I starting getting medical treatment for depression as well as ensuring my health was in tact.   Blood word was ordered and reviewed and my doctor mentioned to lower my carbs.  That's it!  When an obese women walks into a doctors office and says I'm looking to you to ensure I'm ok, you refer them to get checked out from a cardiologist and pulmanologist. You ask them, any trouble sleeping? When they tell you yes, you suggest a sleep study.  You don't send them on their way with a clean bill of health! 

My clean bill of health made me cocky. I figured this was my life.  No need to worry.  Then I had two emergency room visits within the year. Following up with my primary care physician and again, no other tests were ordered other than labs.

I am venting, I know. I digress a lot, I know.  There is a major disconnect in the healthcare system.  Primary care physicians need to encourage wellness by all avenues. Their are specialties in medicine for a reason!  I'm fat on my own. I blame no one for my illnesses and wel being.  But I certainly do believe the the health system has a responsibility to aid someone when they raise their hand and say, "Oooo, ooooo, ooooo, I have a question, please help me!"